WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE WRITERS?

In no particular order, arranged by country:

It goes without saying that I've only read the non-Anglophone ones in English. To find out what translation of a particular writer is best, I Google "[book name] best translation" and believe more or less the first thing I see. Sometimes I just read the most recent translation. Aside from a small amount of German and Dutch, I don't know any language other than English.

WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

Pennsylvania. I've been all around the eastern and northern half of the state. I've never been to the western half.

HAVE YOU EVER WORKED FOR A THREE-LETTER AGENCY?

A distant relative that I've never met worked for the CIA before, during, and after 9/11.

WHERE AND WHEN WERE YOU BORN?

Where's not a mystery if you look around the website, the 'when' was mid-to-late 1999.

MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME? NAME OF CHILDHOOD PET? SHCOOL YOU FIRST ATTENDED?

[sound of a door opening then closing]

FAVORITE UNITED STATES PRESIDENT?

Lincoln.

FIRST CAR YOU EVER DROVE?

I don't know how to drive.

WHAT WOULD YOUR JOB BE ON THE SOCIALIST COMMUNE? ANIME APPRAISER? TTRPG THERAPIST? CRYSTAL SALESPERSON?

I'd probably work in a kitchen, since that's the only 'real' skill I have.

WHILE WALKING ALONG IN THE DESERT, YOU SUDDENLY LOOK DOWN AND SEE A TORTOISE CRAWLING TOWARDS YOU. YOU REACH DOWN AND FLIP IT OVER ONTO ITS BACK... THE TORTOISE LIES THERE, ITS BELLY BAKING IN THE HOT SUN, BEATING ITS LEG, TRYING TO TURN ITSELF OVER, BUT IT CANNOT DO SO WITHOUT YOUR HELP. YOU'RE NOT HELPING. WHY?

[suddenly agitated] What'd you mean, I'm not helping?